I survived. I made it.
Now you’re probably wondering, “What? Did you survive a zombie apocalypse?!”
In a way, yes. I survived my Junior year in high school. Quite possibly the hardest year I’ve had, both academically and mentally. But with that also came growing as a person and learning to handle stressful situations (which will benefit me next year and in college).
Just the other day, my lovely friends and I had our annual bonfire to kick off the summer and as the sun was setting, I came up with the idea to have each of us go around sharing our highs and lows that this school year brought us. Most of us agreed that our low was all the stress. But each of us could agree that a high was simply making it through the year with the help of having such supportive friends.
I couldn’t agree more. You see, this school year felt like it lasted foreverrrrrr. And I’m not sure if it was because of how stressed out we all were or if it was because we all just wanted in to be over. But in this long year, so much had changed in my life. I lost a friend that I never thought I would’ve lost. And yes I was sad, but man, did it change everything for me. It may just be me being dramatic, but I felt a shift in my life. It was a good shift. It made me realize all the amazing people I had in my life, who I was sadly not giving enough credit to. I realized that my friends, my real friends, were the ones who helped me get through every bad day. They were their to hold me when I needed to cry, when I needed a laugh, or when I needed just for someone to tell me that I was gonna be okay. I owe it all to them.
I ended the year with grades better than I had the semester before. I seriously don’t know how I managed that. At one point in the year, I had lost all motivation. I wanted to give up. That was something I hated feeling. Most people who know me very well will tell you how determined I am with everything I do. But Junior year really took all of that out of me. There were so many times in the year where I felt so discouraged, enough to not write on my blog or journal. That was a big deal. But I learned to pick myself up. Although I didn’t start writing in my blog or journal, I did push myself in school. That resulted in me earning high honors yet again and I ended up with the SAT score I was aiming for. All it took was teaching myself that a little motivation and determination can get you a long way
Now with all that determination to get those amazing grades and high test scores, I stopped taking care of myself [mentally]. I would stay up till almost 2 am each day and then come home and nap for way too long. It was an unhealthy schedule I had going. I had no one but to blame but myself for procrastinating. Not gonna lie though but I would occasionally blame my teachers, even though that’s what I was going to school for. Although I’m proud of myself for getting each assignment done and turned in on time, I still had a horrible system that came along with it. Stress was eating away at me and it felt horrible. I constantly had a fear that I wasn’t good enough, in both school and in everyday life. It put me in a dark place. But there was always one thing I kept telling myself, “This too shall pass.” That was all I needed to hear. Just those four words. It wasn’t easy, but with that mindset it led me to be in a better place with myself.
Now I’m sitting here in my very hot room, time drifting away in the night, music softly playing in the background, and I seriously couldn’t be more content. Of course I still have my bad days or even days where I get stressed out over all the things I have to get done before the next school year begins but I’m teaching myself how to cope with it all. Although now I really have start considering a lot for my future. Yaaaaaay! (wish you could hear how upset my voice sound while saying that lol)
But for now I’m gonna enjoy this summer with the people I love, doing things that make me happy, and keeping a smile on my face.
Hope you all are having an amazing summer.
Thank you for listening to me talk about my feelings towards this year. I hope to be back with more posts soon.
Ps. Scroll down for some cute pictures!
» a picture if me with the biggest smile because I’m so excited for summer!!! »
» some pictures from the summer bonfire »